Death is a natural part of life and something many of us would rather not talk about. But for a certain few it is something they have to deal with every day.
When David Garland-Thomas was a child, whenever the landline phone would ring he would pick up the phone and say the phone number before asking: 'How can I help you?' It was something that had been instilled in him and his sister Anna from an early age.
Their father Paul Garland-Thomas was the funeral director of St James Funeral Home in the Uplands area of Swansea. Phone calls requesting their help in planning funerals would be coming in day and night.
"The role of a funeral director goes on for 24 hours, 365 days a year," David said. "When we were children, there were only a few people involved in the business then. The landline had to permanently be answered. The majority of the time, the phone was ringing in the night, throughout the weekends, whether the office was manned or not."
But the siblings always knew they would follow in their father's footsteps, as their father did before them and their grandfather before that. David, 42, worked in installation and green measures before he joined the family business eight years ago, while 38-year-old Anna, 38, worked in sales and recruitment before she joined the business in late 2022.
Remarkably they are the ninth generation in their family to be funeral directors. The business was established in 1760 and was named H F Williams. In 1987 it was then known as St James Funeral Home and established by Paul Garland-Thomas and Stan Lee. According to the siblings taking over the reins was the next natural step and something they wanted to do. Never miss a Swansea story by signing up to our newsletter here.
"It was something that was never pushed upon us," David explained. "It was something we needed to choose for ourselves. I think it was thrust upon my father by his parents when he was quite young. He ran the funeral business on his own at the age of 23."
Anna added: "I think dad was always conscious that we would carry on the legacy. I think it was something he certainly wanted us to do, but you needed a bit of life experience to come into this field." While the business mostly covers the Swansea area, it has also covered funerals further afield too.
Today there are 11 full-time members of staff in the business with four working part time. One staff member has worked in the business for 40 years and remembered David when he was a baby. While no day is the same, the brother and sister say it's a "privilege" to work in the industry.
"I've been involved in thousands of funerals over the years," David said. "But arranged and conducted probably around 200 of them so far." He continued: "It doesn't feel like a job, it's more of a way of life because again, the 24/7 and 365 days a year nature of the occupation means you need the support of your family around you.
"You are working unsociable hours, you're unable to do things that you’d like to be done, but it's the job satisfaction of knowing you've done everything that you to can make a difficult time for a family as easy as possible". "It's very rewarding," Anna added. "We try to be as empathetic and compassionate as possible, and we try to take away any stress that we can from the families when they are going through the most difficult and emotional time of their lives."
The business has provided all sorts of services over the years from the traditional horse and carriage to the unconventional motorcycle funeral and lorry hearse. "There are so many different things that can make a funeral unique to a person," David explained.
"And I think it is important to look at every funeral differently and try and understand what the family's wishes are, leading them through the decision-making process, to have what they feel like is the right thing for their loved one. The funeral perhaps is more for the living than it is for the deceased. It's a way of processing grief and I think it's an important thing for a lot of people."
But as anyone who has experienced it knows, grief can be difficult and hard to navigate. On a daily basis David and Anna are providing compassionate support and guidance to people who are going through one of the most difficult periods of their lives.
When asked how they personally deal with that responsibility David replied: "It can be difficult because if a family is grieving, they are sad and going through a difficult time, but it's not a time for you to be experiencing emotions. You've got to be the steady person, you've got to understand their emotions but they don't want to see your emotions."
Anna agreed and added: "Sometimes, it's hard to switch off when you've had a hard day. Some days, we find it very difficult. And other days, you may meet with families that aren't particularly emotional because they are arranging more of a celebration of somebody's life."
But the siblings explained that the biggest misconception about their work is that it is always surrounded by sadness. "The biggest misconception is that it is all doom and gloom," David said. "But you can often have a good conversation with the families, you might have a family laughing through their grief."
"It's lovely to hear when they talk about stories of their loved ones that have passed," Anna said. "It's lovely to hear anecdotes and to reminisce with them. People assume it's always doom and gloom, and of course, sometimes we do have difficult days and they are extremely emotional. But it isn't always the case, sometimes we have families who just want to celebrate a fantastic life, and it's an honour to hear those anecdotes."
And while the subject of death is very much a part of their day-to-day life, working in the funeral industry has also changed the siblings' perspective on life and death. "I think realistically it makes you confront your own mortality," David said. "It has certainly highlighted the fragility of life."
He continued: "You see these people have such a wonderful life, you hear all these stories and see these pictures. It can be aspirational sometimes. It makes you want to spend more time with your family and loved ones, and make experiences in your life as well."
Anna said: "It's also made you realise that people don't talk enough about death. It's still a very taboo subject. We often speak with families and they'll say, 'Unfortunately, I don't know what mum or dad wanted'. I do think people are starting to talk a lot more about their funerals and I know that during this job it has encouraged myself and my family to talk about it, to make sure we know what people want and their wishes."
